Book Review – The Ten Things to Do When Your Life Falls Apart

One of the great gifts of crisis is that it calls us to awareness.”
~Daphne Rose Kingma

The 10 things to do book coverDaphne Rose Kingma’s book “The Ten Things to Do When Your Life Falls Apart” began as response to a friend whose life was falling apart at the seams. He wanted a list of the ten most helpful actions he could take to pull his life back together. Who hasn’t been there before? Who hasn’t wanted someone, some “thing” to just tell us how to get out of the mess we’re in. A simple fix-it manual to correct all our wrongs and just get our lives back to normal again.

The simple truth is that we’re not meant to live our lives from a singular place of status quo. Our lives are meant to challenge us, urge us and often lead us on an evolutionary journey that can sometimes bring us to our knees. And it is in the yielding to the discomfort we find ourselves mired in, that the gifts of our pain are revealed. As scary as the statement “our lives will never be the same again” is, that is where the truth lies. It’s also where the beauty of life resides and where we find our authenticity and purpose.

“The Ten Things to Do When Your Life Falls Apart” is not a “How-To” manual. There are plenty of those band aid resources out there. This book is about healing in subtle, yet deeply profound ways. It’s about shifting paradigms, and doing life differently. It’s about what lies beneath the pain of our current crisis.

Aha moment after aha moment, this book provides hope for those whose life is life is asking them some important questions as well as those whose life is falling apart, and everyone in between. As stated in the introduction, no one is exempt from the seasons of life, the tragedies and the unexpected challenges. “The call is to deal with our challenges in ways that are fresh, authentic and deep, that touch at the core of ourselves. We need to create not just another bailout, but a true sense of meaning.”

This is beautifully written text with just enough anecdotal narrative, some of which is a reminder to be grateful for the simplicity of our challenges in comparison to the tragedies that befall others. The author brings it down to basics where the foundation for healing begins.

I also found the tools within these pages helpful in finding clarity around my own personal challenges with habitual behaviors that have previously left me feeling defeated. The lightbulb went off in the chapter about “Facing Your Defaults.” Reading this chapter resulted in a paradigm shift that has since resulted nearly complete elimination of a habit that has dogged me for years. Once I realized that starting my day with a Diet Coke was a default behavior, I accepted that I could make another choice. And then the choice was simple; without struggle I’ve nearly eliminated the previous morning beverage in just a few short weeks.

Reviewer Recommendation: “The Ten Things to Do When Your Life Falls Apart” is a manual for living. It is a reminder that “your problems have a larger purpose.” This is a book to be read repeatedly, and shared with others. And so, I share this with you with the hope that you will find hope and inspiration from the wisdom of these words as well.

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