“Your personal boundaries protect the inner core
of your identity and your right to choices.”
~Gerard Manley Hopkins
ClientX thought that because she was an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) and a High Empath she was destined to deal with overwhelm. Consequently, her belief led her to exhaustion which then led to challenging physical symptoms and then eventually led to her seeking out my services.
The story she had created was that it was her job to continually work on managing overwhelm because she was stuck with the effects of her sensitive nature. This B.S. (a.k.a. Belief System) was creating harm for her mentally, emotionally and physically.
In our work together, using Matrix Reimprinting, ClientX became surprisingly aware that she had made an agreement at the tender age of 9 years old to “take care of other people”. Her sensitive nature connected her to others and their pain. She found herself worrying about others and wanting to help them feel better.
Children don’t discover and practice boundaries until they become older and, ideally, have had some training. So, a large part of this agreement to ‘take care of others’ was to try to relieve others of their emotional distress energetically.
Once ClientX became aware of this lifelong agreement we used EFT to release it. Then, again with EFT, we worked on retraining the body’s conditioning so that setting boundaries began to feel familiar. And the desire to protect herself became her ﬁrst priority.
Being highly sensitive and empathic isn’t a choice. But, taking responsibility or feeling obligated to pick up all the energy in the room and take it home with you is. This is often a subconscious decision which can wreak havoc on self-esteem, self conﬁdence and physical health.
Without strong boundaries the desire to help can get confused with rescuing. Rescuing doesn’t help anyone in the long run. It actually impedes others of their individual personal growth and development thus eliminating the experience of empowerment.
What are strong boundaries anyway?
Simply put, healthy boundaries create a clear deﬁnition between you and another, protect your energy, including your emotions, mind and body. Boundaries also allow others to recognize where you stand and what you will tolerate. These boundaries are created both verbally and non-verbally by making clear statements and ‘standing your ground’.
The easiest way to quickly create a strong boundary is to practice embodiment. Feel yourself living in your body from the top of your head to your ﬁngertips to your toes. Get used to this feeling so that it becomes a natural way of being. Yes, be bold and be “full of yourself”!
The healthy response to the dilemma belying the softhearted HSP is to embrace who you are and learn how to recognize what is happening. With awareness and strong boundaries, which are supported and strengthened by grounding yourself, you can keep your energy for yourself to maintain your health, wellness and peace of mind.
Embrace. Embody. Empower.