Filling Our Own Heart First

“You’ve got to love yourself first. You’ve got to be okay
on your own before you can be okay with somebody else.”

~Jennifer Lopez

 Hearts pumping away for a lifetime. A finite number of beats are allotted each individual before that giant muscle ceases motion forever. An amazing system of electrical and chemical synergy keeps the blood flowing throughout the passageways of the body. Out to the lungs, fill with oxygen, back to the heart, refill, out to the limbs. Repeat, endlessly, until that final moment.

The body prioritizes. That heart needs to be full of blood for the pumping system to function flawlessly. Using this as a metaphor for behavior, what happens when our heart is empty and becomes emptier and emptier?

We feel lost, lonely, stressed, overburdened, tired, angry, depressed. Fragile in all respects. People have needs and ask for help; the lost, the lonely, the poor, the disenfranchised, the battered, the confused, the angry, the empty.

heart in handsPeople’s needs are endless and our hearts ache to help those in need. And, using our own heart’s operating system as an example, we need to fill our own heart first. Our own needs must be met, our own joy to be found. Boundaries are set as we reach out, give out, pull back in, refill, repeat, endlessly.

To maintain a healthy system, in this case our emotional and physical body, we must connect to our source, that which fills us and supports us, our own artesian well. Physical needs, as well as emotional needs must be sustained through our own work and our own joy.

Turning away from a situation that is draining our energy over time, that leaves us stagnant and dull, can be described by the 8 of Cups in the Tarot. Saturn in Pisces/Jupiter in Pisces. The infinite has shrunk and is strangling our heart, the world is calling to our spirit. Move away from that which is draining you. Move towards that which excites you.

This dynamic is also seen astrologically in the South Node/North Node relationship in the astrological natal chart. We refill at the South Node and release at the North Node. Receiving works in concert with giving. Step out of your comfort zone, which may also be the dead zone, as nothing is changing or growing there, and your heart is shrinking.

The energy of the heart, is the energy of Venus, of the Empress in the Tarot. Venus energy is magnetic, drawing in what it needs to feel satisfied. Powerfully, the Empress rules her kingdom with love for all that it contains. She is filled with possibilities, ready to give birth at any time.

Take care of yourself, love yourself, believe in yourself, trust yourself. Fill your own heart first, and then you will be able to give out without feeling depleted. Only so many ticks remaining in your heart. Keep it full, release, refill. Repeat, ad infinitum.

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About Susan Scofield

Susan Scofield, Barnstormer Astrology and Tarot has been in professional practice for nearly one Saturn cycle. She weaves the ancient wisdom of Astrology & Tarot into the fabric of contemporary life. Contact Barnstormer at or at 360-446-0255. She sees clients in person at Jamie Lee and Co., 309 4th Ave E., Olympia, WA 98501 and is also available for phone readings, for both astrology and tarot.

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