“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage.
If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.”
Fear will tell you, “It’s not a good idea. It’s a stupid idea. It’s not original enough, smart enough, wise enough…..or it’s not ( fill in the blank) enough!
More often than not, if we don’t attend to the voice of fear, it will grow stronger and suddenly, your idea becomes you. “You are foolish for ever thinking that your idea would be interesting, you are stupid, you are not good enough….you are not (fill in the blank) enough.
Fear hopes to keep you stuck in the little box of your limited thinking.
Love comes and says, “Open your heart, and listen inside…… what do you hear? Love encourages us to grow, to leap into the unknown, to trust in the impossible and to have faith that your heart will lead you in the “right” way for you.
So why, why do we tend to think that the voice of fear is more reliable than the voice of love? Why do we hang onto that old critical voice of fear?
In part, because we know it. It’s familiar…..and we love familiar. And because a part of us believes in the old fear story. We know how the story will end. We will stay safely stuck. We will not have to risk our hearts, our courage, or the possibility of failing. We can stay in the “safe” box that we’ve been in with a heapful of resentment. We get to be angry rather than scared.
But just in case you haven’t noticed, it won’t be long before our deeper knower, our deepest desires scream at us in the middle of the night to risk and go beyond the voice of fear. And if we are “lucky” and a little bit conscious, we will finally leap into the abyss of the unknown and learn to navigate the waters of fear. We’ll learn to confront all the old voices of fear and work through them.
And it will definitely not be comfortable. But, you will begin to feel alive again.
And after some time, you will begin to see how empty those fear thoughts actually were. Some fears will be so obviously shallow while others will take time for us to see the mere trickery of our mind. But, in the end, you will come to see that your fears were not worthy of the real estate you were giving them. As you question them, you will see that they do not have the power you once thought they did.
Suggestions for facing your fears:
Make a list of all your fears. For the ones you can physically confront, make a list and begin doing them! Afraid to sing? Sign up for a voice class. Afraid of heights? Go skydiving or maybe take an elevator up to the highest floor or to a lookout area. Afraid to speak? Join a toastmasters group and start speaking!
Now for the trickier fears…
Perhaps you have a fear of being on your own, so you stay in a relationship or marriage that is not pleasing to you or is not healthy for you or worse abusive. For this fear, repeat the following: I am strong and capable of taking very good care of myself. There are other men/women on earth for me to be in relationship with. I deserve to have a loving, kind relationship. So, I will start with myself.
Begin treating yourself the way you would want to be treated by another. Watch the words you choose to speak to yourself. Do you speak lovingly toward yourself? Do you compliment yourself? If not, begin to do so. Begin in the mirror. As you start your day. Look at yourself in the mirror and say, I love you. You’re an amazing person. Notice if this causes more fear to rise up within you. Know that is ok, not comfortable, I know but healthy. Let it rise up and out of you!
Are you afraid that you will never accomplish something? If so, begin imagining with all your senses that you have accomplished it. Challenge the voice that says, “Oh sure, you can’t even (fill in the blank),“ “No way, you don’t have the money for that,” “You’re not smart enough , young enough, old enough, pretty enough, etc.”
Quiet the negative conversation and begin to imagine what it is you want. Focus your energy there until it becomes real. As you work through this and stay with the process long enough, amazing things will happen in real life to help you to realize your greatest dreams. By trusting the process and focusing your energy on your vision you will experience amazing things taking place.
I know this to be true. I once had many dreams and now many of them have come to fruition….and in ways I could never have imagined. Now, I am working on new dreams and believe you me, many of the fear voices have risen to squelch these dreams. But as I stay with the process they have begun to quiet down. And, just like you, I will stay with the process until they have been realized here.
Join me in releasing your old fears and loving your new dreams into reality!
For more information visit www.EllenNewhouse.com