“If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will get you there.”
~Alice in Wonderland
Where are your thoughts aimed, and what are you moving toward?
Are they your thoughts or those of your parents, teachers, friends, the news feed, or even spirits? And are those thoughts helpful or counterproductive to your life and your purpose?
I met with a client recently who was driving herself into a frenzy everyday trying to accomplish all the obligations and duties in front of her. She was in tears talking about how there was never time for herself, and that everyone came before her. Of course, even in saying it she realized that she was complicit in this daily merry-go-round.
She desperately wanted to find space for herself in her life. Time to relax, play, take up a hobby, and create joy in her household. But that voice in her head kept pointing out all the chores to be done first, and goading her to be perfect in the eyes of all she encountered. She thought others may be impressed with her striving and deeds, but deep inside she knew she was miserable and unfulfilled. And as much as she would cover up those feelings, she was awakening to the fact that they were leaking out in other ways and taking their toll on her family.
Where do these voices come from and what are their agendas?
They can come from childhood imprinting—from parents, friends, and teachers. Ideas get stuck in our heads about how we should act based on our role models, culture, traditions, and how we have been raised through encouragement or through punishment. They come from our perceptions of what is acceptable, useful, and safe. And they stay with us out of habit and often show up as unconscious “knee-jerk” reactions.
In some cases, the voices come from the spirit world. They can be passing spirits or those who stick around to lend their influence frequently. You might compare these examples to being swayed by a comment from a stranger as you walk through the mall or having a friend constantly calling you and giving you advice. In any case, these comments must be appraised for their value. Are they really helpful or are they leading to sabotaging behavior?
All too often the messages slip into the consciousness without a filter. Unless we stop and pay attention, analyze and sort, we are allowing this imprint to affect us without resistance.
So how does one discern and discard the messages that are not useful?
Spending time on developing your values, and being consciously aware of their hierarchy gives you a starting point. You can ask yourself whether this message or behavior supports your highest and best values, and whether it moves you closer to gaining or keeping those people, activities, and things most important to you.
Knowing your purpose and staying aligned with it will reduce the distraction of unwanted behaviors because, again, you will be measuring any choice against whether taking that action will get you closer to your goals.
Purpose is not the end of the line during a lifetime, but rather a direction that you aim toward. It is the singular focus and goal of many lifetimes, and more specifically, of your soul.
Without a goal in mind, you will find yourself being blown around by any and all prevailing winds.
Do you or someone you know fall into these categories?
• Following the latest craze or guru
• Switching interests as the newest fad emerges
• Tagging along with others who are more focused or sure of their direction
• Finding a romantic relationship so it can define them and give them purpose, rather than identifying their purpose and then choosing a relationship that supports it
Living without a solid awareness of your purpose can spell trouble for many people. It can lead to choosing the wrong relationships, ending up in a dead-end job, weight gain, depression, criminal behavior, addictions, being stuck, loss of personal power, and so forth.
When we know our purpose and actively aim in that direction, we generate energy, get passionate and excited, and so much of the “little things” and dramas fade into the background because they are so much less important.
As for my client, in this first session we were able to identify the voice and the influence. It was, indeed, an unwanted spirit who has been attached to her and influencing her for more than one lifetime. Additionally, her childhood influences from her mother gave words and perspectives that only served to reinforce habits that appeared to be valuable and “good”, yet were strongly leading her to stress and away from her true purpose.
We have created stark awareness of the behaviors and their consequences, along with the ability to discern that voice as “other”, and therefore not worthy of response. With that voice quiet now (or at least controllable), she will be able to practice making her own choices and arranging her days more comfortably. She was sent home with instructions for creating her value system, and we will continue working together to clearly identify her purpose and to empower her to design her life in a way that brings joy to her and her family.
Knowing your values and your purpose may not always calm your mind and quiet those voices, but it will give you the weapons to defend against their influence. You will become single-minded in your quest to fulfill your greatest desires and to live in the freedom of empowered personal choice.
How would it feel to be that empowered?
Would being solidly aimed at your soul purpose be different from the way that you are leading your life now? What or whose influence is driving your life? Are all your choices driven by your personal value system?
Making these life changes takes time and focus. There is no quick fix or magic wand. No one can do this work for you; you must take on this challenge yourself. Having a trained and skillful guide and coach, however, will allow you to make these adjustments on your life path with clarity and speed.
For more information, visit www.maryleelabay.com